Random Thoughts again

Somewhere along the line..this girl as lost her funness. Ive lost my funk, and ability to make people laugh. Im not sure where it went but ive come to the conclusion, ive become downright boring. I used to atleast get invited places once in awhile... and people used to call me just to chat. now, my phone doesnt usually ring...and im usually at home on my days off. I know i cant always do something but the invite would atleast be nice. That doesnt even happen anymore. I guess im just a drag. Who knows.

This brings me to another subject... yes i cant always go places, but i do have a kid. Responsibilities come first. With some notice we can find sitters but I dont need to go places ALL the time. I would rather be spending time with my little munchkin who i am more proud of than anything in my life. Once in awhile though it would be cool to get away for a few hours. Like if randy and i have a date night. thats nice. I enjoy those. but for us to go to dinner with a few friends sometime would be cool. or you know like cookouts or something. if we didnt host the cookout we'd be at home by ourselves. its strange. But what gets me...the people that go out all the time that have kids. what do you do with your kids while you're out 4 or 5 or more days a week? Im puzzled by this...and why are you not home with the kids? They are you're responsibility no one elses. if you didnt want to slow down with life...why have a kid? It just dumbfounds me that people can leave their kids and ALWAYS have a baby sitter to do it. Yet when I need someone so I can go to work, no one is willing to help out usually. Its a strange world. It really is.

Ok i think I might be done. just needed to get that out.

Until next time,

~*Kristin*~

Venting

I would like to know where I went wrong in life. So i went to a 2 year college...not a 4 year college...big deal. i Graduated with honors, top in my field. What is wrong with that? 4 year college is not for everyone.

For where I live, my job is pretty damn good I think. I work full time. 40+ hrs a week..making pretty decent money for around here. We own our house free an clear...thats right...NO HOUSE PAYMENT... I took on a 2nd job as a scentsy consultant...Im not doing too bad at that either. Pretty soon i am going to own my own business too. See anything wrong so far?

I'm not sure but I think I'm doing a pretty good job raising a gorgeous little boy. Hes completely healthy, and VERY happy. Hes always smiles, eats good, never deprived. Again..where am I going wrong?

I also coupon to help my family with expenses. I buy whatever i can get a good deal on...when i can get a good deal. And guess what...if im in a pinch I just gotta go to our back room and pull it off the shelf. I dont have to go buy it.

I am so sick of being looked down upon for the decisions I make in life. Last time I checked, its my life. As long as I'm happy what is the big deal? Seriously. I'm sorry that some people can't accept that I am me...not who they want me to be.

I am so happy with my life. I have an amazing fiance. without him, im not sure what I would do. I have a beautiful son, who has my heart. He is probably the best thing ive ever done with my life...and I am more proud of him than anything in my life. Nevy is my little helper. Im not sure I would get through some days without her. I may be 24, but I'm pretty sure I'm more mature than alot of the people I graduated with, Contrary to what some people believe. I know within the last year I've grown up alot. And I for one, am pretty damn proud of myself....I think maybe you should be too.

Anyway, I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense to everyone, but it makes sense to me. And thats all that matters because I feel better...somewhat.

Until next time,

~*Kristin*~

Relationships, the system and ignorance.

Ok, so another random post about shit that is on my mind. I figure if I can write it down maybe it will stop racing through my head all night and my headache will go away. Who knows if it will work but it is worth a shot right?

Relationships. Some are good, some are just plain ugly right? I have been blessed with one of the good ones. I love Randy with all my heart. Hes the love of my life and my best friend. I cant see my future without him. It just doesn't make sense. And please believe if someone tries to keep us apart in the future I will fuck up their world. Randy was there for me during a time I needed him and my love for him grew into something great. Something neither of us ever expected to happen but it did, and I am so glad it did. I wouldn't have it any other way. He is my soul mate and the love we found brought us our beautiful baby boy who I would die without. He is my pride and joy. Being that we have a good relationship, this brings me to another topic..marriage. Many don't believe in marriage. They say it does nothing but ruin the relationship. In some ways, I guess I could agree...but not in all cases. You just don't get married till you find your soul mate. Yes if you marry the wrong person, of course it ruins the relationship because you realize you are trapped with someone you completely hate. But if you marry the right person, it could be a beautiful thing. Take my grandparents for instance. They were married at a young age and were married until my grandpa passed away in 1997. My grandma to this day wears her wedding ring on her finger and is still in love with my pap. They were faithful to each other until the day he left this earth. That, is a beautiful thing. I dream of my wedding day...hoping that it happens. I would love nothing more than to marry my best friend. But time will tell I suppose. Either way, he has my whole heart.

Now, there are also ugly relationships. Some couples just clash. These are the ones you hear about all the time about domestic issues. Why stay with that person? Seriously? If you hate your boyfriend or girlfriend so bad that you have to beat the shit out of them...why stay? Grow a set and move on with your life. It will be the best for everyone. Especially if there are children involved. They don't need to see that shit. I also hate the relationships where people have to lie and cheat. Cheaters have no sympathy from me. I think all of them deserve to rot in hell. If you are not happy, tell the other person and move on. Don't keep playing that person and hurting them. It never ends well and usually results in one of the relationships I already mentioned. Maybe I am old fashioned but I think every relationship should be like the one my grandparents had...faithful till the very end. If that cant happen...then fuck you I don't want any part of it.

My next subject..the system. Fuck the system. I thought they were supposed to be there to help you. They aren't. They are there to fuck you over. They are public assistance. They are supposed to be there for people who need HELP...not to pay someones entire life for them. If you are capable of working...get off your lazy fucking ass and get a job. Then maybe there will be enough left for those of us who really need ASSISTANCE. It really burns my ass that i bust my ass everyday to bring home a pay check and we cant even get a little bit of help to buy food, yet there are people completely capable of working sitting on their ass collecting a check every month and they don't have any problem getting food. It seriously makes no sense to me. Yes, I did get WIC...but i was lucky to get that. I showed them a check from right before i went on maternity leave...if i didn't i would have made to much. they even told me this..So a year from now when I report my income..we may lose WIC...but atleast for now We get milk, cheese, eggs and bread for the family, and formula for Keagyn. At this point ill take all the help we can get, but a little more would be nice.

And lastly, Ignorance. what gives people the right to be completely fucking ignorant towards another for no reason? I watched a coworker of mine get treated like shit today by another co worker. I thought it was completely out of line. I really just wanted to punch this ignorant person in the face. What makes one person any better than another? We are all the same no matter the color, how much we make, where we live, or the way we dress. Or how about what gives you the right to cuss me out just because you didn't see your beloved football game. get over it. Go hang out with your family. Id rather be spending time with mine than hearing you bitch at me for no reason. Just my opinion. I wish everyone could just be treated equally. It would make the world a better place. But no. That cant happen now can it?

Alight, ive gotten out what i need to say. I do feel a little better I suppose. Im sorry if it sounded like a bitch fest but my head feels better now. For now anyway. Feedback is nice, but not required. I just like to know im not crazy is all. Thanks for reading. have a good night.

Until next time

~*Diddy*~

Random thoughts and venting

Ok so its been awhile. I just have a few things i need to get off my chest. They may not make much sense to the everyday reader but they make sense to me and I guess that is all that matters.

For starters, why must families pick favorites? Every family does it, but why the hell does it have to be that way. I always thought mine was different until a few months ago but im really not going into detail about it. Id just like to know why it has to be like that. It seriously drives me nuts. This is not my situation but I don't understand how one parent can choose one child over the another, or how a grandparent can favor a grandson or granddaughter over the other...or an aunt or uncle can chose one niece or nephew over the other for that matter. Blood is blood. they should all be treated and loved the same. And id like to smack some sense into some people because it drives me completely insane. I love my little boy to the moon and back but ya know what if i ever have another one I will love that one just the same. I couldn't imagine it differently. Hell, Nevaeh isn't even my child and i love her like she is mine, and id do anything for her. That should say something shouldn't it?

And on to another subject. I've been completely bummed lately. My supervisor's last day is Monday and it bothers me. She has seriously become like my 2nd mom. I can talk to her about anything and she keeps me sane in the work place. And now shes leaving. I have learned a lot from her. I feel like my rock is being taken away and I know i am going to cry even though i don't want to. I'm happy shes getting out of here and that she is going to be able to take care of her grandson. I'm scared ill never see her. Its happened to me in the past when i get close to someone. My friend Mitchell for instance. When i left target i was promised that we would remain best friends. I haven't seen him in over a year. And that hurts. we used to hang out atleast once a week. I miss him. Also, my friend Jess. She got a job and left ABB and I was told that we'd remain friends. We did until we became roomates then i moved out to move on with my life. Now we don't speak. I guess i just wish i could get out of here too but i cant afford a pay cut. I love you mamma luke and I am going to miss you. Please dont disappear forever.

I guess I will be done venting. I just had to get that stuff out cuz its bumming me out/pissing me off. Comment if you wish. If not I get it. Im used to people not caring.

Until next time

~*Diddy*~

Love works in amazing ways

Sorry its been so long. I've been busy. lol. Since my last post I gave birth to our gorgeous healthy baby boy Keagyn. He was born on July 20, 2011 weighing 8lbs 5oz and he was 19 3/4 in long. I was in labor just under 12 hrs and pushed for 3 hrs and 10 min. I almost gave up because I was so tired but all of a sudden I found what it took and he came so fast after that they had to call the ER Dr because my doctor didn't make it quick enough. Thank you Dr. Baker for bringing my baby boy into this world safely! And thank you to my amazing boyfriend Randy for being by my side through the whole thing doing his best to keep me calm and pushing me to keep going and letting me know just how tough I actually am. You're amazing and I love you so much.

Keagyn is by far the best thing I have ever done in my life. I am so proud of him already. I look at him and I see a bright future and I wonder what I can do to make life the absolute best that i can for him. I haven't figured it out yet but I will make it the best that I possibly can. I have so much love for that little boy its unbelievable. I never thought it was possible to love someone so much so quickly. I knew when I was pregnant with him that I loved him but I didn't realize just how much until I saw his handsome little face and his big bright eyes looking up at me. He makes my heart melt. He really does. I am so blessed to have him in my life, and I would never want things any differently no matter how exhausted or overwhelmed I get.

Well I just wanted to drop in and update. I am going to watch my baby boy sleep for a little bit until he wakes up. Everything he does is just simply amazing to me. I will try to update again soon.

~*Until Next time*~

~*Diddy*~

^*My reason for living*^

Heartburn, Kicking and couponing!

Well its been awhile. Yeah I suck I know. Life has been super busy. Some I can talk about on here, some I will refrain.

For starters, this heartburn has been killer lately. Its very random I know but it seems no matter what I try it doesn't stop. I can feel great all day long then as soon as I lay down to go to sleep it rears its ugly head. I swear with this heartburn my son is going to come out looking like an Ape lol.

I am now in my 29th week of pregnancy. Getting there. about 10 1/2 more weeks ish to go. Keagyn is growing everyday. I can tell with the way my belly is growing and my need to eat 24/7. Today for instance...I can't get full no matter how hard I try. Its kind of annoying cuz it makes me feel like a cow but its ok cuz lil man needs it so hes strong enough for his entry into the world. Also, the subtle little wiggles in my tummy that I felt, aren't so subtle anymore. I can literally sit here and watch my entire belly move. Our new found entertainment is to put things on my belly and watch keagyn kick them. I really don't mind too much until he wiggles his way into my ribs. That is VERY uncomfortable and he seems to like them alot. Like they are his own personal jungle gym.

I could really use a normal 9-5 mon-fri job but they are so hard to come by anymore. It would make life so much easier I think. I could be a bank teller or something but I cant really deal with the couple dollar an hr pay cut I would take. I'll just stick around here in hopes that someday a new shift will open, though I will not hold my breath. That wouldn't be good for my health. lol

So, Couponing...its Randy and I's new hobby. Its fun and addicting. We learned this thanks to the new show, Extreme Couponing. We decided to give it a shot and now we are buying several sunday papers a week and printing lots of online coupons. We have had a few successful trips, such as the trips to dollar general and walgreens, buying 9 bottles of body wash, a bottle of shout, a 6 pack of paper towels and 2 tubes of toothpaste and only spending .48 between the 2 stores. Who needs drugs when you get a high off watching the price drop like that? Its fantastic. We're going to keep practicing and maybe we can be like the people on tv. lol.

Alright well, its about time for me to get out of work and I am more than ready please believe. I'll try to write again soon, and if i bored the shit out of you, Sorry :-) nite!

~*Until next time*~

Diddy

Childish BS and Cheating...seriously WTF?

Ok this is kind of random but just some shit I feel strongly about and I figured i'd write in here to get my feelings out about it.

Subject one... Childish bullshit. Please tell me what compels people to prank call someone? Especially at 3am? Thats soooo elementary school. What brought this on you ask? I got a prank call at 3am the other morning from someone (im 95% sure i know who) Saying they were "Fucked up Pamela Anderson from the altoona hospital and they are so sorry to tell me that my hiv test came back positive." First of all.."Hi this is fucked up pamela anderson" Very professional..not a hospital..for 2.. a hospital isnt going to call me at 3am to give me test results...for 3...the hospital isnt going to leave a message to leave test results because of privacy issues. This really rubbed me the wrong way. I have issues sleeping lately as it is because of this pregnant body of mine and the heartburn so when I do finally doze off i don't like interruption..so when u wake me up for something stupid, its irritating. Also, I don't live alone in my own room anymore...so not only are you waking my pregnant ass up, but you are waking Randy as well and in a few more months you will wake up my baby...and that will piss me the fuck off. Some people never grow up and its sad. You are 23 years old. its time to start. If it happens again I will prove its you and I will think about pressing charges. Just sayin. Grow. The. Fuck. Up. Thanks.

Subject Two for the evening. Cheating. For no reason in general just the subject in a whole. Why cheat? Someone always gets hurt in the end. I personally would rather be dumped than cheated on. I have been cheated on a few times. The one guy was sleeping with a friend of mine the entire time we were together, because I wouldn't give it up to him. Lame excuse. He actually got my friend pregnant then she lost the baby. Then he started hanging out with this other chick and when i confronted him about it he told me she was his cousin...yea well i didn't trust him anymore at this point so I broke it off..later come to find out he is now married and has a child with this so called cousin...yea cousin my ass. if so you are one sick bastard. I know several people who have cheated on their significant other...and I really don't think its right at all. If you are not happy with your other half anymore...end it. move on. end of story. don't drag it on until someone gets hurt because it never ends well. I just don't understand the subject at all. I would never. Its bullshit.

Anyway, now that I have vented I suppose ill go for the night. Feed back is cool btw :-)

~*Until next time*~

Diddy